Growing Up

I am growing up. That is scary. I'm currently 15, almost 16 years old. In a year, I'll have done my GCSEs, and I'll be (hopefully) in sixth form. I have to make so many decisions right now - what subjects do I want to take? (French, Italian, Psychology and History) What do I want to do after sixth form? (A degree in French and Italian, including a year abroad) And which sixth form do I want to attend? (...)

The problem here is that I have a huge internal conflict. Part of me wants to stay at the same school I've been at since I was eleven, where I know the teachers and students and I can find my way around. That side is competing with the more rational part of me, which wants to move to a different school in the area that specialises in languages. Given my ambitions, that would be the logical choice. But for some reason I just can't picture myself there. I've visited the school and it's lovely, but it's all very open, unlike my school which is relatively closed off. My family wants me to move schools, and on some level I do too, but I have friends here and I don't know if I can leave them after everything I've been through to form actual friendships.

Growing up is hard to do.